It should be me..

I’m really struggling today. Massive understatement. It’s that hopeless feeling of knowing exactly what will fix me, but having absolutely no hope of having it. None. I am powerless. Completely lost. I have no control in my life and trying to make things right, no, CORRECT all of the wrongs, is impossible and pointless, even if I could. I’m tired of these fucking skills today. I’m tired of having to just ACCEPT the utter bullshit that has me trapped in a corner and the timid little bird it’s forced me to become. I’m ANGRY. I’m fucking ANGRY about what brought me here. I’m angry that I don’t have a voice. I’m angry about the lies that soaked the paintbrush he painted me with, I’m angry at the family that believes it and rejects me because of it, and I’m angry at how deeply I continue to be betrayed and forgotten. I’m so full of hate, and so full of rage, and all I can do is cry my life out and ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT and keep being this pathetic nothing that I’ve been forced to turn into.

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