The She Who I Am Not.

When days and nights have to end, and are never long enough to talk all of the talks you want to have, laugh more laughs and hug and breathe them in one more time. When you meet someone you didn’t know yesterday and it’s like you discovered a whole new world, and the old world, the one you knew before them, is gone. But this world, though new, is familiar too. Into it you carried the same doubt, and the same lack of hope, and the same unspoken words that you forever keep inside. Because safe is better, and lonliness is familiar, and I only trust me. Maybe someday I’ll tell them that today I wrote about them. But deep down I know that it would only be so that I could show my walls and a glimpse of the brokenness behind them. There is no easy way to love me because there is no easy way to get close to me. And there is no easy way to get close to me because I do not love myself enough to let you see the things about me that I hate the most.

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